The Letter S: A Poem

Beware, what follows can only be described as silly, stupid and substandard. Blame Plinky, not me!

Quill and ink well at the State House
Sing sad songs,

So sad, so sad.

Spread sillyness,

Sad sillyness.

Somber sillyness.



Students study soulful Sylabi.

Sacred saints,

Sordid songs.

Shower singing.

Sexual.

Sensual.

Singing sensations.



Spearhead spirituality!

Save souls!

Save shoeless soles.

Sacred sanctuary.

L-less Lesbians

Once upon a time in a country far far away there was a young maiden named Jane. Everybody adored her. Boys wanted to date her, but for some reason she was not interested. Even when Brad Pitt came into town, she found her eye wandering to his wife. She did not understand what she was, or perhaps refused to say it in front of others.



One day, she became infatuated with a woman named Marcia and the two had sex. "This was just a one time thing," Jane said. "I am not a... Not a..."



"You can't even say the damn word," said Marcia. "You are what I am. A..."



"No, don't say it," Jane interrupted, anxious of what might happen if she heard the word.



"Give me a ring when you come out. Before then, I don't want to have anything to do with you," announced Marcia. She got dressed and started opening the door, then gave Jane another chance. "Come on. Your window won't be open much more."



Jane said nothing. Marcia went out the door and never turned her head back. Jane regretted her decision the moment she made it, but did not have the courage to change it.



The End.



And that, my friends, was a story about lesbians not only without the L-Word, but also without the L-Letter.

My First Year As Prime Minister

Finally, a Plinky prompt that has something to do with politics!

Here are two things I'd definitely achieve within my first year as prime minister of Israel. After all, this is a fantasy and in my fantasy my party, the Real Achievements Party, has 80 seats in the Knesset, so I have no problem passing all of my initiatives.

Opening up the media market
Until now, Israeli TV has been based on the public service concession model, where only a certain number of companies have the right to have television channels. I passed a law making television channels license-based, meaning that anyone who is financially capable of establishing a channel now can get one.

Civil Marriage
Marriage in Israel is no longer exclusively in the hands of the Orthodox Rabbinate for Jews and other religious authorities for members of other religions. From now on, you can be married by judges and other public officials. Also, Reform, Conservative and other non-Orthodox rabbis can perform weddings.

Mitzi Nostalgia

Does Plinky permit more than one response to each prompt? We'll find out now, as I post a follow-up to a previous answer where I chose "Miss Nelson Is Missing", but also mentioned various other children's books, including "Tell Me a Mitzi".

There was something strangely enjoyable about these physically ugly characters. I don't remember what the hell the story was, but I remember I loved the drawings.

Fond Memories of Viola Swamp

Here's a fun prompt: name a children's book that makes you nostalgic. Just one? I could list a lot: Curious George, the Berenstain Bears, Mitz Petel (about a lion and a giraffe wondering how the mysterious Mitz Petel [Rapberry Juice] looks), Dira Le'haskir (apartment for rent), Clifford the Dog, An American Tail (which I first knew in book form - I'm not sure if I ever saw the movie), the Arthur books, Tell Me a Mitzi (with the ugliest human beings in children's literature) and on and on and on.

But I had to pick just one, and "Miss Nelson is Missing" by Harry Allard and James Marshall is it.

I loved this book, in which a substitute teacher that looks like a witch makes the students appreciate their regular teacher, Miss Nelson. At the end of the book it is revealed that Viola Swamp, the substitute, was actually Miss Nelson in disguise.

Five things to do before I die

Don't worry, I'm not planning on kicking the bucket any time soon.

Visit all six inhabited continents
I'd like to see as much as possible of the different cultures of the world.

Write a critically acclaimed work of fiction
I love writing.

Establish a cult that would worship me as a god
Not a death cult or a sexploitation cult, just one where they thought I was Zoroaster or Jahova or something.

Escape from said cult
Because I'd find out quite quickly that it's just too damn creepy.

Start my own Science Fiction franchise
To make millions of dollars and millions of fanboys and fangirls dress up as weird alien characters I made up.

Call Me Procrastinatus

If I were named after one of my traits my name would be Procrastinatus. Why? Simply put, because I waste way too much time on unimportant things and leave the important stuff for the last minute.

I'd Write About Venice

Paul Simon was going to Graceland, Toto blessed the rains down in Africa – what place would you write a song about?

Venice is the most unique city I've ever visited. Where else are there boat lines instead of bus lines? Where are there buildings that go right down to the water, with no sidewalk or beach between the houses and the lagoon?

I know I'm not being very original here. Many have written songs about Venice. It has been an inspiration for all sorts of art forms. There is good reason for it.

A shark would beat a bear!

Does a shark have the right to (eat) bear arms?

This has to be one of the silliest things I've ever written about, but who cares?

A shark would be able to rip the bear's guts out with a single bite, though the shark would be badly beaten up as well.

This Plinky Thing

I tried out Plinky yesterday. It is supposed to inspire people suffering from "blogger's block" to write. They post a new "prompt" every day, which is actually a question for bloggers. I answered one of these questions yesterday in my previous post. It was one of their first questions, posted in January. That's how far I had to go to find a question I'd like to answer, or even see what other people had to say about it.


Oh well, maybe they'll have interesting questions once in a while. We'll just have to wait and see.

Check out the ice caves near Salzburg, Austria

This is quite literally the coolest thing I've ever seen.

The ice caves have nothing but ice formations in them. It's much more impressive than any stalagmite cave I've ever visited. The entrance into the cave is very cool - there are gusts of wind you have to go through, but once inside, there will be no wind whatsoever.