Sunday, August 12, 2007

Wasting My Time

I've always been a slacker, a master of the fine art of procrastination. I've done quite a bit of not much during my lifetime - and by that I'm trying to poetically say I have wasted hundreds of hours just doing nothing important, not that not much has become of me. Despite all my ineffectively used days I'm quite a successful guy, with impressive achievements under my belt. But I digress.

I am procrastinating as we speak (or, rather, as I write this post). I have one last paper to write, which shouldn't take me that long, and after that I have to get to work on my thesis. To work on my thesis I have to go to far away archives for whole days, something to which I'm not looking forward. My thesis is very interesting, but I don't enjoy the idea of spending my days in squalid archives (and no, I'm not misusing the word squalid - archive-keeping is one thing Israel isn't very good at). So I don't have much incentive to get the little paper done to make room for the thesis.

So now I'm not working on anything and I keep thinking that I should. I don't read any books because I think to myself that I don't have the time, but then I go off and waste my time on the Internet or watching TV. I could have at least read a book goddammit. And the last book I tried to read I couldn't finish. It's supposed to be a Sci-Fi classic, The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester, but I just can't get myself to sit down and read the whole thing. I don't know if it just isn't the book for me or if I've lost the ability to concentrate on good literature. I haven't tried a different novel, either.

I need a vacation, a real official vacation somewhere else. But in the past I've had vacations while I still needed to do things, and that kept me feeling uneasy when I should have been having fun. So it's a paradox. I need a vacation to clear my head and be able to return and work with vigor, but I also need to get the work done so I can have a worry-free vacation.

Oh, never mind. I'll get off my ass and start working eventually.

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